most silently

Good morning.
  
Sigh.


Another deep sigh...


The sun is shining, yes- I see it. 
 The bright-glow moon out last night- will I convey where it found me?
  No...


I hear the guineas
knee deep in cold-white,frozen fluffy powder- still calling, still alive.  The one leader always taking the first treacherous risks/steps so that the others might follow.  Ah, yes- I see that too. 


In time, I get it.


I see where someone plowed our drive as we were a bit unable for awhile.  All the hopeless moments I spent seething, wondering "where is the kindness, where are the friends, the others, the..." just like me, they take a bit to catch on maybe.  And then- there they were...helping; silently sweetly anonymously- lending a hand.
And we worry about so much, his job.  Our savings.  But we wonder too, more than worry- we wonder.


About:
 The folks back home who struggle too, who lose too- their sure footing because someone hurt them in word or deed, right when they most needed assurance, a gentle strong kindness to see them through....
And then we see this morning, in the form of green carnations and bowed heads came griefs shared, sorrows carried for a time so the family who lost more than any of them can ever say, at least, at least they know that many have risen so that they do not have to. For now- the hearts of mankind are thawed, open, beating one tick at a time together, as the black limo passes.


  A kind act in snow removal, or a tiny, green tinged petal of a flower that lands at one's window at least, at least!  I can finally see what my eyes have painfully adjusted to- love bears all.


When others reveal to the one's who are suffering an out and out down-in-the-dirt-too raw empathy- that is compassion; the necessary ingredient in healing.  Without it, scars form over wounds that will not heal.  


And so it is at this time of year, the darkest days soon revealing more light- I pray for you and I pray for me, that we may find within ourselves deep wells of compassion. 
 And if you think it is not within you, I pray you think again- for even the most lowly among us have it there in that invisible dimension although no one ever knows this until it is shared.


 That's how it works and many, many times- most silently.  No words are necessary- green carnations, a bowed head, tears,sobs, a hand upon a shoulder, a nod of understanding, a squeeze of fingers... 
  A freshly plowed drive, by a black truck that no one seems to know who it's owner is.... 

Peace to you and yours.  And snow bright joy...take care-

work on our hands

Pitch from the Pine

I am working seasonally now.  At the end of the day, I look at my hands and I see the work still there- resin from the greenery that I've snipped all day long, slits tiny and puffy from the pruners that caught skin instead of pine tips.  The work still lingers in my muscles- my neck, stiff and tired, my back tight and inflexible.  Black under my fingernails and needles in my hair- and I smell, even after a good long soaking in Epsom salts and lavender steaming from the bathwater, I stink of evergreen.  Physically exhausted by 8:00 PM, emotionally numb sooner and spiritually averted all the live long day until I sink into sweet dreams almost immediately upon retiring.  By 5:00 AM, I am up and ready to do better, go longer- make more centerpieces.  I breathe deep in and deep out, forty times if necessary to calm my nerves down by the time I pull into the parking lot where many more workers just like me come and work to do better, give better, fill their heating oil tanks up to get through the longest, harshest hardest winters here in Maine.  And now I know my neighbors better.  Now I listen more to what is unspoken and less to what is said.  I see the hands, just like mine- busy and blackened by the thankful work of the season.

And I wonder, do they have an inkling too of the joy that attends these pieces that go all over the world, here from Maine?  Do they wonder if the recipients take to heart the hands, the many many hands that build a bit of Christmas in each and every piece, do those recipients realize the gladness of doing something that puts money in pockets that go for far too long empty here in this Downeast county?  When they pull the fragrant objects from the shipping bags out onto their dining table or mantle- do they realize the effort of so many that have so little, from the snippers at the tables to the cutters in the forests that tip the trees that barely notice the pruning that is but a little healthy take of overgrowth?
I didn't know all of this.  Didn't realize a wreath I purchased through L.L. Bean served so many hands of hands and heated homes, and had it not been for this seasonal labor opportunity, so many would go without.
I see now that folks around here are not lazy, no- far from it.  They are hard workers, the hardest I've seen- ever.  But there is so little employment opportunity, so little educational opportunities, but not so little spirit in loving any and seemingly all positions of employment.  Work is a blessing to these folks, they count it as such.
I recall my first visit to Maine- I hit the nail on the head when I reckoned that Mainers celebrate the slightest win.  They do.  And they laugh all along and anyway, and tell stories while standing for hours on end, cutting, snipping away the dread of little Christmas and heat- this year with this wreath comes Christmas, comes heat, comes relief to the spirit- a temporary improvement but improvement none the less.
I am not one of them, I am from away.  But I do see now how much the same we are, when the going gets tough, the tough get snipping.  We do not make ends meet so much for comfort- but to comfort all and who we love by this work on our hands.

Nature is beautiful, always beautiful! Every little flake of snow is a perfect crystal, and they fall together as gracefully as if fairies of the air caught water-drops and made them into artificial flowers to garland the wings of the wind!

Lydia M. Child

...be of good cheer, it is the most wonderful time of year!
Love 
Joy
Peels of laughter
and wonder to you and yours...




Merry Christmas

same light

Winter Solstice 2009 occurs at 9:47 am PST, 5:04 pm GMT on December 21, 2009 (22 Dec. in Thailand and points east.) This is the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, and from now on the Solar force will get longer and stronger, a welcome relief for those of us who need lots of sunshine to keep our dispositions equally sunny.
by Robert Wilkinson of Aquarius Papers

Good morning.


Today is the shortest lit, darkest day of the year.  It is a time for  many- to let go of old influences, differences- to say or write of the things you wish to relinquish- to see leave your life.  This is where, in times past- the yule log came in.  The ritual began many years back to ignite a log and to burn in it's flame- messages on parchment, bark or some kind of medium that one might write on or draw pictures to symbolize the intention.  And then, the same exercise would begin again with drawing or writing of what you wished to see come into your life.  Again, the intentions would go into the flame, one at a time or all in a list or perhaps upon a pine bow, one might  say, "Joy please come back into my life, I wish for happiness to fill the spaces left open by all the things I do so intend to let go."  


History tells us of pagans (who were really just poor peasants, many of them country people- not heretics or heathens as the church back in the day would have all believe because of their odd tendencies to worship nature- the sun, moon and stars,)  just plain and simple folks who cherished the divine in every living thing... and in each other.   The herbs the good earth gave them thereby curing many of their ailments were gifts treasured and often spoke of in ceremonies.   And to this day, we still use the old ways to cure many common ills.


 These days when people speak of pagan or being a pagan- to me that just means they choose to believe as their freedom dictates.  Nothing scary, or evil....isn't it funny how we often give the unknown, the misunderstood a cloak and dagger of sorts, declaring them unchristlike or even worse, devil worshipper?!  That always tickles me in a way, and sometimes when an actual pagan declares to me that they are pagan, I say- Good for you, I'm Terry!  Almost always I am then met with a very quizzical look, then  kindness- that agreeing to disagree thing, willing to uphold the divine in each and every one of us- regardless of the little tag dangling from our character!  Usually brings about an understanding, an acceptance- clarity then rears it's bright and shiny face and in that same light- we all dance.


To believe in one's personal God or Goddess or Baby or King or Candles or ???? To each his own- Every one of those beliefs have the one thing in common that this day  lacks- Light.  In the following days...in longer lit, lesser dark times- may we all begin again to truly live in the Light that is the Divine in the all and everything.


Joy to all-

Santa Claus Syndrome

Good morning. Chilly morning. The temperature dropped 40 degrees here last night. And I forgot, or rather put off till today- replacing the ice melter thingamajig for the water trough. I'm sure it's frozen solid through and through and the little machine I'll add to the water/ice later won't do a thing but sizzle on top of that ice unless I chop away...fun Monday goings on.
To town we'll head today to sign two of the younger sect up for the January semester at a community college. First stop though will be to the post office to send off the final installments of Christmas goodies to the Big Fish out East and friends. I made molasses cookies yesterday, froggers as my Granny called them- and I made candy, though the peanut brittle is more like laffy taffy, if you slap it against the counter it does crack, but it's more pliable than usual. Tastes good though. And my infamous chocolate fudge with walnuts and a smidgen of Baileys Irish Cream, delectable and habit forming which leads to Santa Claus syndrome- a round little belly...
And the real reason for my post today- my little brother sent me this in an email. If it isn't the darndest, cutest, wackiest thing. Try this link and do as the prompt says. It's addictive, so go ahead and try to stump the "singers", they'll take it on the chin and crack you up.
http://www.sundog.net/carolofthechins/flash/card.swf

And I'll be bringing you more Christmas spirit here as it moves me.

Have a good one, take care-

Oh what the heck, I'll take it...

No blog yesterday, sorry to all my devoted(2)fans...I fell into the abyss of an abscess, ouch and groggy alllll day, feeling better...

The title does not suggest a shopping spree and a foolish parting of ways with money that I don't have- it is in reference to the holidays. Lets just get straight to the point, they are hard days these tinsel type times. Everything I touch either breaks, folds up, gets a hole in it or just plain doesn't work like it did yesterday. And I can't say why for sure and I don't break down per se-I just don't manage well. Many, I believe in similar situations, feel this angst, this slow revival of sadness. The more you try to fake it, pretend-if you just try a little harder, or even hold it up against a starving child story and say "it could be worse", the more you try to not take notice of grief, truly the more difficult the situation becomes. So-Oh what the heck I'll take it! Give it to me, the tears and longing, the remember whens, and how he use too...I'll take it. And turn it into what it is, a disclosure, a light turned on in the darkness and come right out into that light and say I miss him, I'll always miss him because I love him so and always will. I did not stop being his mother on the day he died, I don't know how to stop being, don't want to ever learn. And especially at Christmas the mother lode of mothering days-I don't quite know what to do with my self. But I know for one thing sure- I will not be false to his memory nor can I be false to my living children's prescence, I must be real all around the Christmas tree. So, universe- give it to me, I'll take it. And make me ever grateful, I pray-for all of it. Peace to you today, please pass around the kindness today to those little(and not so little) brooders in your life, too. It is hard to see sadness, to really look at a face and try to not see it, ignore it, it makes for an uncomfortable situation...but imagine how it is for the soul behind that face to have no acknowledgement for who they really are, or how they really feel. Thanks, I knew you'd understand. You always did...and do take care-


(And no commenting on "Jesus is the Reason for the Season"-I know that.A statement like that is a life preserver(your own) if you will-thrown to a seemingly drowning man in only two foot of water-he's not drowning and you're not a preacher(are you?!)he's only taking on more water than necessary by flailing and fighting the waves-call to him, in kindness-he'll walk right out of the water, to the shore-everytime.)