the seed order

I can finally look at myself in the mirror, look my self right square in the eye. I sent in my seed order. It's taken too long to square it away, I don't know why it took me so long...probably something to do with lawyers and insurance and work and Big Fish and too much going on...But, who doesn't have a messy life? Really? We all juggle, huh? Some, with their appointment calenders and spiffy clean homes make it look so simple, I really hate efficient people. Try on my life Miss Suzy Homemaker...they'd have to put a straight jacket on you. Yep. Off the point again, anyway! The seed order took me quite a long time to do. You see- the restaurant that I was merely "helping" out for the winter has become a project in a sense too. The cook quit about a month into my waitress gig there, so the kitchen witch in me, the owner and the owner's sister came out- and the cooking really began. (Please understand...Rene and Andrea do most of the cooking...and they're both artists, amazing women...good company!) But now, there is no waitress, or sous chef or regular cook- oh no. I, the whiz bang idiot that I think I am- I just try to do it all. Fun. Fun. But I like it. I like building the plate like a masterpiece, the intention of love like a garnishment. When those plates go out of there, they look like beautiful paintings, every patron usually immediately states, "Oh- how beautiful!" And very few of those plates come back with even a smidgen of food left on them. The point I'm trying to make, I my self am trying to see...I'm a pretty creative person, I thrive on it. I didn't know this about myself. The pressure sometimes of juggling, cooking, too much...maybe, just maybe (if we don't crack from the pressure!)propels us like cannon balls into a different atmosphere of yes, yes and more yes, and why not? So back to that seed order- in a round a bout way...that is why it took me so long to place it, too busy and I'm growing all the produce this restaurant can use. I've had to forecast how much lettuce and what kind of beets would glorify a salad in the most artistic way...crazy stuff. Is this why chefs(not that I'm a chef, far from it...)seem so irritable at times? Thankfully I have no one working "beneath" me...I'm the lowly waitress too, except on Saturdays- then Miss Lils is the cute little waif of a server...and she don't take no crap from her Mama in the kitchen. And let me explain "lowly waitress"...people often give this person in the restaurant field the most flack. The server is usually the one who pulls it all together, maintains the balance, keeps the cups full, entertains and smiles even when some old bitty sneers "Girl! My water is old, bring me a fresh glass..." Yea, sister- I got your water...catch! Of course I don't do that, only dreaming...I'm just saying, the flack the server gets is usually unwarranted, it is not her/his fault if the food is a flop- but they're the one's who get one quarter a dime and two pennies, which essentially is stating "Hmmpphh! Your worth is $.37...and a mountain of sugar packets." So- see why the seed order is so vastly important? The produce has to be just right...it has to fit, be beautiful and tasty and memorable and like a painting on a plate...oh, you see what I do? Too much. But my intention is love, truly. And a love has to be your all, your everything, has to stand up and say "here is my best intention, hope you enjoy!!!" Seeds to salads to smiles to sighs to...straight jackets! Ha, have a good one. Oh, and tip big ya cheapskates!!!! Take care-

Carrots are the one thing

JB,
First off, before I forget the questions: Carrots are the one thing I cannot
grow, literally-no matter what I do, the little dears evade me. A.P. is
baffled, says they're easy-I will be elated when I figure this one out. I like
Johnny's seed out of Maine. Their germination rate seems the best so far and
they do offer pelleted seeds. Their customer service, should a problem arise-is
unbeatable. If you go to the specialty conference in Spfld. they will have a
rep there, I think he is John Fine? He is knowledgeable and easy to talk too.
I also ran into him at LaCrosse. I am ok, holidays are always a source of
bummerism, but-I'm excited for my kids, as they seem anxious and happy for the
holidays, this feels more right than it has in 4 years, a kind of slow
acceptance that we're still a family missing a piece, but we're more whole
individually. Does that make sense? Anyway-I have heard nothing legal wise,
perhaps they're waiting until after the holidays to inform me one
way or the other-and I just do not want to call to see what's up, yet. Being
neutral right now is the best gift I can give myself. Hoping for an answer I can live with, be at peace with.
Lots of ice and snow, pretty but hard to manuever in, especially with the
animals-but I don't recall anyone ever telling me that farming was easy.
Looking forward to the planning, planting plugs and ordering seeds soon. Taking
a trip with myself early January for a few days-possibly New Hampshire and
Pennsylvania to the Rodale institute, just me and my shadow. I can't wait for
you either to begin fully, you're farming-can't wait for the affirmations to flow
to you from the earth, your land. In time, they will
and you will know the pulse of your land and flow with that rhythm. That is the
amazing part of this all-time will shift, no more clocks other than nature's
own-so much as it's raining, or shining, or too hot or too cold and you will
farm to those kind of time frames, at first perhaps feeling you should do more
of this or that-but I found in working with the day, the hour-accepting that
pace, well-I just seem to flow with it. That present moment stuff was truly
being, just being. Time stops and all the little minute details come into
focus, and this sounds all to zen like-but when that happens, you'll really be
there, fully aware and awakened. It's ectasy. Even when there is more dirt on
you than there is on an acre-it's just a giddy feeling. Can't wait to hear your
perspective, you're so positive energy anyway-your crops will be amazing.
I am writing a blog almost daily and it has made me see what I think, what I
ponder and what other's percieve-it seems to be of great therapy to me, even if
so much of it is nonsense to others, I don't care-it is important, a daily
lesson for me. I think I'm going to post a bit today of what I've said above, I
won't refer to you directly. But that is hindsight up there, again-the thoughts
are worth a mulling over. Hope you enjoy your family and friends this
holiday season with a great sense of peace but also with great anticipation of
your coming year. I am kind of giddy for you. Looking forward to your stories,
have yourself a merry little Christmas...blessings. Take care-