beyond comprehension...Stuebs Family

"...this I know and know too well-
love never really dies.
Happily, sadly- hand in hand,
it gets us though the darkest times."


I feel compelled, as so many do at this time, to bring to light the tragedy that has befallen a local Springfield Illinois family. While on a camping trip, the Stuebs family encountered a devastating storm that blew a tree limb onto their tent, killing their beloved son and now as of this writing, taking also the life of their toddler daughter. The community as a whole has reached out, fundraisers and prayers to attend the family as they try, one small inch at a time, to get through this nightmare. Here is a link, should you have time, money, talent or gifts to contribute to the Stuebs family, whose burdens are beyond comprehension. They have no insurance, several of their other children have also been injured, though I understand through reports, physically- they all will be well. The Stuebs Family Benefit will held at The Field House in Springfield.

The absolute sun has been eaten by the darkness of death for this family, their only way through is hope, their only light now must come from others...us. For now, I cannot imagine how they can begin to heal- it will take many hands and many hearts to once again instill a glimmer of hope for the Stuebs.

If you read this blog and work at a business that the public frequents, won't you please put out a canister collecting more much needed funds to see them through? Or perhaps in church tomorrow morning, request of your congregation to add prayers for the Stuebs?

Thank you dear readers...this family needs our strength, our prayers, our shoulders, our utmost compassion.
If you have it to give, I humbly request that you do...
Take care.

refuge

You know you know something...when your heart will not be still, when your sleep is disturbed by the grinding of your own teeth...when your fear is shattered, even when your hands shake, and again- your heart that won't be still, pounds little extra beats into a rhythm that you fear might bring about breathlessness.
Every time I'm fearful about something, I become aware of the signals my body is sending...the trembling, the awkwardness of the rhythm out of time, out of context, out of the blue...I feel weakened. But it is truly at these precise moments, these scary, scary times...that I stop whatever I'm doing...take refuge out under the cherry tree, or next to the chickens, sometimes out on the swing...and I say "Father, thank you-increase my faith." And then I wait. And wonder. And become aware of the signs, the signals...the cool breeze against my face, unsettling the longer pieces of bangs that fell right over my eyes so that I cannot see, allowing me to feel the breeze against my skin-even more intimately, a caress of assurance. And my nose picks up a scent that I did not realize a moment ago...it filters through my memory and elicits sweet joy...roses. My hands stop their shake, my heart slows it's pace...I breathe...in...peace.
Perhaps this is faith, or maybe just a fine moment in time that I discovered to be truly, truly holy...
Sharing these thoughts does not make me any more or any less than any other soul on this earth...it just makes me keenly aware of the goodness, the sublime...the count your blessings and be grateful for all you have and all you know...you are alive. Intact.

Sitting out in the little orchard yesterday, under the sky- bruised and swollen with yet again more rain...I realized, perhaps for the first time in my life-I am intact. Blew me away...sat down and wrote a blue streak yesterday...don't know where it all came from, the words- but they left their mark on me and on the page. All because I started to fret and shake about something I have no control over...no steering...no holding on...no handle...as the breeze from??? blew it all away.

Be well, take care.

Big Fish

I'd put my thinking cap on if I could find it. Or even my typing gloves, they're missing too. Isn't there a Saint of sorts that I should pray to, bring in to this room(spiritually speaking)say "Hey brother, could you find those things for me?", Amen.

The thing on my mind this morning, the only thing it seems is a big fish. It jumped in my boat of dreams last night, and I wasn't even fishing! Made all the other fish seem small,colorless -in my lifetime of fishing, I had never seen nor even realized that such big,beautiful fish existed. But this one, this heavenly sort -swam right up to me many moons ago, and I remember thinking this creature seems so large, looming and kind of scary. And besides, I had put my pole away-no more fishing, or baiting, certainly no trolling- fishing was just not my sport. So what does one do when the scales shine so? When the heart there, beneath the scales is bold and poetic and makes me miss something that I had never even found before?(How does one miss something one never had?!) Sure is a dilemma- this darned old big fish, do I throw it back? Do I tell it to swim away? Come again some other day? I surely don't know the answer to all the questions-all I know is my little pond here was becoming smooth as glass, no ripples hardly-and I found that comforting, safe. And now this big splash, ripples everywhere-to soon, or not soon enough...go away big fish, there is only water enough in my little pond for me. (But then again, fishermen(women)lie just a little, especially when it concerns big fish-you know, the one that got away...) Maybe I just need to wear waders for awhile, hope the farm store carries them in a heart high style- with industrial strength suspenders! See you again tomorrow, if I find that thinking cap. Take care-