It's been far too long, really. I have so little time to keep in touch this way and I'm not so sure it matters to so many but I do know it matters a bit to one young lady, so- I'll keep it going.
There's a fly in the ointment in certain social obligations I have made. A real negative fly. In the ointment. A cantankerous, venomous fly in the salve. No one smiles at this fly. I think secretly everyone fears this little fly... with the exception of me. I can see most plain this little fly is about the fear-fullest being around and for that reason, gets stuck in the ointment and goes around scaring the bejeebers out of people. If we would call the sky blue, this fly would buzz that it's purple and if we all weren't so idiotic- we would see that for ourselves. I'd like to swat this little fly. Hard. I can't help but wonder if that's what is needed or even wanted. This fly likes to bully people too. Did I say how much I'd like to swat this fly? But I'm not real sure what purpose that would serve. Everyone might feel a little better and I would certainly enjoy it- but what about that little fly?! What would it mean to it to be swatted? This little fly appears to be alone, I mean reallllllly alone. No friends, no chums or confidants...I know, it's not my problem. But it is. This fly is getting a little long in the tooth, should know better by now on how to win friends and influence people- but it's always relied on buzzing meanly and rudely. Just in case you are wondering, I have talked with this fly on a one to one level and there was no buzzing, just pure sweet conversation- but the minute the fly gets in a group setting, off it flies into everyone's eyes and hair and bzzzewt, into the ointment.
Not much of a lesson, I haven't one solution. Not one. I do not understand this behavior. I do not understand at all. I do not like leadership roles, it makes one narrow minded. Meaning- even though I know some rather sharp words, I cannot utter them. Even though I'd like to help this bug right out the door and don't never come back, I cannot escort anyone out or in. My role is mediator. My ears are all hearing. My eyes must look but not too close. My hands can shake in greeting but not in an educational manner-"Lookee here you, that's enough of your crap. A little less negative talk and alot more positive action or fly the you-know-what-off!"
It's a dilemma for sure. I wish I was in my seedshack, dealing with little seeds and dirt in those predicaments when flies fall in the ointment. I simply was not cut out to be in a leadership role and did not ask to be put here. I'm a helluva navigator when the going gets tough but this isn't such a tough time, although it is a tense time and it seems that everyone is looking to me to make the right move. Well, I just did a little. I am discussing it. With you, whoever, wherever you are because surely someone else has been in my uncomfortable shoes and walked away straighter and a bit humbler when all was said and done and the damn fly was dislocated. From the ointment. Solutions?!