Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts

Thursday, December 27, 2007

True grit


Good Morning to you und you und you...Went to confession last night (Grandma's house)-felt like airing my soul out, guess I needed to. And she needed some chores done-I felt like I should put everything on hold to aid her, because-well, I'm a good person. Just kidding, my house is a mess after the "Big Day", and my priorities shifted real quick when she called, I was more than happy to attend to her needs and leave mine wholly undone. We got to talking, me mostly-and we shared what only women share between them-this lady is an independent one, always has been. She use to scare me, for you did not want to make this one mad-she could reduce you to a puddle with a stern glare, you did not want to go beyond that glare...total evaporation of what one might feel is a childish right to screw up now and then. Ha! She'd set you straight and nail you like a ten penny. Anyway, she's a hero of mine, I like her more everyday, and I love her like no other. We have to attend a memorial Saturday and well, we don't want to go really...we don't do sad well. But the service is in honor of a beauty, a lady who remained so all her life, top of the tree type-so for her and her young un' we will go. And dress the part. Grandma at such and such an age...cleans up real good, and I look so unfamiliar dressed up that, well...most people comment. "Geez, look at you! Didn't recognize you!" Then I get all red in the face and pretend like I'm a natural grown woman, and I start to make weird noises that sound alot like excuses, look at my hands alot, notice my nails aren't quite as clean or manicured as a ladies should be, shove my hands in my pocket and start to whistle. "Oh, there you are!" They say, now they notice me, only a bit more decorated but still Terry, the tomboy. And my dad will go too, he's driving-he's a tough old tender bird, and he'll cry-the man would rather fall out of a tree stand than tear up, it is hard to watch-does his pride no good to be seen like that, so...I'll look away. And the family, my favorite part of our vast bloodline, will be there-for them too, we'll go. And eat, drink, and believe it or not...at some point we will all be merry together, for Pat who flew away a couple of weeks ago. She taught me more about being a woman than anyone who comes to mind. "Stand up straight, stick your chest out, chin up-stick your heiney out too girl. Don't look at the ground, eyes up front, look 'em in the eye, Terry-don't forget that, look 'em in the eye." At 11 or 12, walking down a back road along the little Wabash river-getting life and posture lessons from a woman who cared enough about my timid little tomboy soul, to set me straight. To this day, my posture is good. Thanks Pat, you made a good difference here-how bright the heavens must be now, how less lit up it is around the little Wabash...but the memory, the shapes drifting down that road, bright as ever. Take care-