I have come to love the questions...the unfolding comes when least expected, and generally provides more questions!
...sometimes one sets out to restore, but experiences instead- new ways, new life. That has been my personal experience, the moment of most profound doubt giving way to profound hope- though thoroughly hand in hand with suffering.
Rolled a plow, it had a mind of it's own- back on me it flipped. I have a bruise clear down to the bone that looks like an angry sky right before all hell breaks loose. And I am once again, grounded. Not much patience do I have...I am learning. And reading. And wondering...
(And Grandma is staying with her sister for awhile, this is very good. Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers, each one counted.)