TRUE CALLING~214

I almost didn't catch it...today is my anniversary. Number 214, this post is...started the blog thing back in 2007 with Chainsaw Reaction. Couldn't help but traipse backwards through all the "writing" and the pictures. Heck- I even realized a bit of wisdom in all those volatile thoughts- some quite original. Bam!!! That's why I started writing a blog. Some folks say it like it's a dirty word- Bl#!*%g. I say it proud-BLOG! Blogging permitted me to open up, to see inside, to reflect, to inspire, to be inspired- and each and everyone of you- responsible.

That's a good thing.

I am in unfamiliar territory now. Everywhere I look, I see beauty yes...but all is so foreign to these eyes, I don't quite yet- speak the language. Fearfully I wonder if I ever will...but fear and wonder should never go hand in hand, wonder is an opening- not a closed fortress such as fear. So- these words I write from here on out need to be strong and brave and full of wonder...God help me. Amen.

Go ahead, make my day...

Now, should a single soul here on the net comment on how they make the best out of the really scary stuff, even through blurred vision- I, being a truewonder and all, will gladly give to the charity of their choice-

a TWO HUNDRED and FOURTEEN DOLLAR DONATION
in honor of the anniversary of True Calling

Because it would sure do me good to do you good- Let Me Help.

Let's count our blessings together, you and I.

Let's add up all the wonders, extract all the sorrows, stack them all up together against another soul's journey who can't quite make ends meet and send them 214 blessings.

(And your reflection as to why this group or individual speaks to your soul, calling for our attention.)
Please include a link or email to the group or individual so that I may pay it forward. (Or simply email me when called upon to do so through the comment thingy...)

How will I choose a winner?! My heart will tell me so...if yours speaks straight to it.

Take care-

***And should the equation get out of hand...perhaps others will take it upon themselves to fund a true calling- a plea for a bit of mercy and will pay it forward too.

take root

I wasn't going to write a thing this morning...misery loves company but company runs out the door when misery wails. I'm not miserable really, just thought I was- had a thick as molasses day yesterday, Easter- holidays stink, they just do and I've tried every way around them from wrapping up everything with bright shiny ribbons, to fragrant flowers to coloring eggs...how about if I make a deal with you and myself? I'll celebrate every day of my life, but holidays-nope, take them away, give them to the people who know how to appreciate such times. OK, it's a deal. Now...on to why I did find inspiration to write.
I was moping around here yesterday, cooking a blue streak, laying out Easter stuff for the kids, never smiling- I'm quite sure my attitude probably made the deviled eggs happy...anyway, even this morning found me in a funk. Money is tight, so tight that when I write a check to pay for this or that- the ripping noise releasing the paper from the checkbook emits a high shrill squeaking whistle, it's embarrassing really- I overheard the feed store guy once say, "she's so tight she squeaks, but her checkbook's so tight, it whistles!!! Scares the hell out of every dog in the county!" (Yes, I made that up- but it is possible...) See, I over drafted my account Friday...forgot to include in my loose accounting the fact that I have electronic transfers coming out once a month...and so on top of the planting and planning and working and holiday and woman living in shed and son not pulling his weight and 46 year old body not acting enough like 26 year old in-great-shape-farm worker...well, let's just say overwhelmed became with the bank notice- over the stress limit. So- what do I do...Miss hopeful, Miss optimistic, Miss it-will-all-work-out...well, I had a bit of a pity party. (No one was invited and no one came 'cept me, thank goodness.) Even I didn't stay long...the music stunk, the food tasted blah, and the company was boring and negative, a real fearful, doubtful experience. "Must seek inspiration..." I thought to myself as my soul lay parched and dying in the dry desert of despair (yes, I really think these things out loud too.) Long story longer...

"The People's Grocery-Healthy Food for Everyone" Watched a video, went online to see more of what these young people were about. West Oakland California- seemed a pretty hopeless place to my eyes. 42 liquor stores- no grocery stores, none. How would these people in such a depressed area get food, healthy or otherwise? They could not drive, very little employment opportunities...the liquor stores made pretty good sense. Drink yourself dry, have pity parties galore...invite the whole neighborhood, let the doubts fill the place, I mean- what's the point? Where, in such a place would or could inspiration ever take root?! The People's Grocery.

I cannot properly convey my awe at the young people who have started this, who have given a community a chance to thrive, a youth movement that says "we're all in this together", a co-founder's vision of love and service and devotion and dedication to making a good difference in the world. A model, truly- for what can work, even in the most depressing, depressed areas- for the good of humanity.
So- if you've lost perspective a bit, like I had...hold their story up to yours, share their story please...it is one to be shared. Should be heard, realized...I know it's not going to make the front page of People, or even the local newspaper...but it should, it really should. "Must buy T-shirts from them, help their message grow...help them in any way I am able to do..." With hope, take care-

Love, Mom

my dear children
you are
the light
always the lightest light
I have ever known
for you I'm me and all for you
I'd give you the world if I could
manage some how still
to see you humble
but I am one of one
and cannot get by
with allowing to much crap
from you folks
you're capable for sure
to be appropriate
and pick up those messes
you often leave me with
tired of it for sure
but still, the light of my life
you are
my dear children


What the hell just happened?! The above verse says it all, but still I'll try to explain if it seems all too opaque.
This farm, our home-does not run on fairy dust. And there is no wizard that I know of who pays my bills.
I ask for respect because I expect it mostly from you, as I give it to your properties and your room to grow, excusing many little battles .
I am tolerant, too tolerant and it serves no purpose other than letting you off on another day of getting by without getting it done.
This may seem harsh to your youth, a freedom time-but my youth found me a farm, and family, and offspring that I feel need to buck up and take on some responsibility that has always been yours to begin with.
There it is-the work of your day, a little offering, a contribution to a family who needs one another at their best though often sees each other at their worst-and bridges the gap between right and wrong with love for one another.
So, my sweet babies-time to inch forward a bit and help out around here.
Or else.
Or else we'll all be miserable, and we need each other, really.
I am the wise one, sometimes...the one who often has to stand up to you, for you so that you may yourself one day rise to any occasion. Tough stuff here, being hard-but softball with you guys right now will only propell you backwards-and while I still kick and breathe as your mom, I will affirm to be firm on this issue of responsibility and respect.
Love, Mom