Thursday, November 12, 2009

When Good Chicks Go...

God answers sharp and sudden on some prayers,
AND thrusts the thing we have prayed for in our face,
A gauntlet with a gift in "it".
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Good morning,

One more time before I go, I've stopped in to say hello, goodbye...Sayonara; if it is to be, so be it.

Here's a low down on the high craziness that goes along with moving, relocating, shakin' down and moving on:

Bullshit is unavoidable. (A new adage to the phrase "shit happens")
I like my take on it, between happens and unavoidable, the latter is undeniable, therefore- prepare for the unexpected.
(Please pardon the cursing, though please know, those cuss words have a bit of grace mixed in too.)

Thick skinned people become thin skinned after too many sleepless nights, Veteran's Day Florist from Hell comments and haulers who never show up to take the stuff they promised to come and get, so at the zero hour, after selling truck- you have to find someone else to take the stuff- making the thin skinned wonder get on all fours and sob. Cleansing, yes- Confidence building-no.

There are friends, and then there are friends. Moral support, hand holding, hugging, kicking my rear when it needs kicked, all rolled up in a bundle of warriors led by our own personal wonderful don't know what I'd do without her- Mrs. Doubtfire: Audrey. ( More like Ms. Hopefire)

"What do you mean my coffee pot is packed?!" And where's the garlic press, and teapot, and where do I sit?, and that book I was reading? and has anyone seen my glasses? and my camera? no, no, no, don't pack my retainer-yes, I actually put that thing in my mouth!

And my personal favorite-

Old tractors such as Betsy look great all on their own, but when selling said tractor- location, location, location! So I parked the old girl in the old corn crib- my, my she's a beaut surrounded by ancient cathedral-like peaks and slats of light. Everyone that lays eyes on her in that situation would get all nostalgic and Must have her, right?! So I go out there yesterday, manipulate her starter, tap her hood, say a prayer, pull the choke, lift the lid and jiggle her ground strap (she loves that, gets her every time!) and with the hood standing up, she roars to life!

Unbeknownst to me, a bundle of mice and their huge extended family had moved right in there on top of old Betsy's engine, and when she roared to life they burst out of there like Jiffy Pop Popcorn hot on the stove without a lid. Good God, they were all over me-up my pant legs, hanging from my shirt, crawling on my hands. I screamed and screamed and screamed some more, but I couldn't let off of Betsy's throttle and well, I couldn't touch the mice either, I mean EEEWWWWW!!! I shook the rafters and my eldest daughter with my screaming, she came running (not fast enough I can tell you) And what does she do when she arrives??!!! Laughs, guffaws, holds her belly and serves her right- pees her pants laughing! And they're still everywhere...running on the running boards, coming down the wire, and these were not your little country/city cute little run and hide mice, no sirrreee, these were LEAPING MICE!!!! MIGHTY MOUSE MICE- every one of 'em were singing-"Here I come to save the DAY!!!" (I can only reflect back on my mice morgue, and this was nature's way of getting back at me), I surrender right here right now- no more frozen mice, no more traps, no more glue:BUT GOD AS MY WITNESS- I aim to find me the biggest, meanest, mouse inhaling cat and never will I be without one again., Nature against nature- mouse versus cat, 'nuff said. (And yes I wet my pants too.)

Believe me when I say, I've come undone. And I don't think it's the worst thing in the world. Balled up tighter than a Broody Hen upon her eggs- something had to give. I do. I surrender. Raising the White Flag. Rolling with it. Laughing 'bout it. Crying if it is to be.
See you soon, take care!

****(Attention please...this is the final installment of the Illinois truewonder, next up, new chapter, turning the page-Maine truewonder coming soon...)


troutbirder said...

Go for it! And take care & be safe and True

Anonymous said...

Oh how I love you. I have a picture of the first mouse I caught, all by myself, on my cell phone to show people what an independent woman I am. Except grandpa came over and threw it out for me :) I love you, I miss you already, I can't wait to visit you. You are the strongest, bravest person I know. And I am proud to call you not only my family, but my friend. Love, Rhi

Audrey said...

We have all been through so much together,Sisters from different Misters in the truest sense of the word. All of these experiences, frustrating as they can be, continue to make us even stronger. You can do it girl,I am going to continue to hold you feet to the flame until I have that novel in my hands... you know the one I mean, it is in there, it just needs lots of still time to come out.

I am so proud of you and of what you have been able to accomplish,despite the adversity. As crazy as things have been in the last two weeks, you have still managed to find time to be kind to everyone, that coupled with your generosity of spirit means you have made new friends who will never forget you.

As your big fish says, "It takes ten Maine woman to equal one Illinois woman. I know you are going to go up north and raise the bar. Make us proud. Live Love and Laugh little Momma, and know your Illinois Sisters will miss your presence at our Solstice and Equinox fires but that your spirit will always be with us.
Can't wait for my first visit and you haven't even left yet.
Stay calm and adjust, and never be anything but TRUE.

Jayne said...

Oh my... talk about peeing your pants!!!!! I was laughing hysterically while reading this.... sorry! Whew... need Kleenex.... wiping eyes. OK. Better. Sorry. BAHAHAHAHAHBAHAHAHAHA... snort, snort.

OK, really, I'm good now. :c) Godspeed on your journey North... all good things are to come from this point forward. Looking forward to reading about your Maine life.