Friday, January 11, 2008
While I am fully aware that I certainly do not have all the answers - that people will always have comfort zones they will not want crossed, I will most likely end up crossing some of them when internally prompted to do so because while I will forever risk moments of loneliness from doing so, I will do so because I walk in truth . . . because I have integrity . . . and because I am a friend . . . .
The above quote was heaven sent, flew into my lap this morning, and perched there like a bird. The writer of that quote, I know deeply-and yet, I have never met her. She flew into my life via a newspaper article and had to respond. Her strength amazed me, her guidance through eventually a cell phone conversation revived me, a restoration, an inkling of trust in me again- for outsiders. I know I lay much out here daily-some might feel too much, those comfortable zone types-but truly, I am so much an insider, a loner. I go out and shine when I need to, when perhaps others need me to-I am a loving person, I overflow with love-a verb, not a noun. (Thanks Eric)I plant the stuff like seeds, water everybody that I meet with it-created like that I think-a drought lifter.
There are too many folks in this world as it is
Whose hearts lay dormant in a pain filled abyss
Who am I to rage against them?
And believe me, it's hard stuff to rise and shine for folks who would rather lay around and whine-but I'm just so sick and tired of apathetic attitudes, that I reach in, feel around for their switches, and turn them on. Not so much for them- for me. For us. Dark is good for mushrooms and rest-but for living and loving, I for one need the light. I can hold up my little match of light to just about any darkness-Because I did dwell there, explored almost all of it-had to. And then I crept out into the light, again-had to.
...I will paint in remembrance
and portray him in frameless pictures
large as life vivid as the sun
long as the sky
and dark as the darkest canyon
that I hope I never fully explore-
He wouldn't want that-
He would say.
In a round about way, I got here today-didn't think I had much on my mind worth sharing-guess my spirit felt otherwise. It's that love-verb thing, makes a person want to fly off in unsafe distances-breaking the barrier of confining comfort zones.
Feather's flying! Take care-