Thursday, May 8, 2008

Passages


Good morning, late morning...it's raining, thank goodness- so I have some time to write something here about the going's on in Chicago Tuesday. I was pure nerves, the shake started in my toes, entered my belly around noon time and began an all out tremor to my hands right before I started to speak. I had my notes, immaculately done if I do say so myself- like a menu, pretty sure I could carry the thing off but then they said, "We're expecting 70." Seventy?! Geez, don't these people have anything better to do? I'm not that interesting, and my entertainment gene only kicks in after a few margaritas...I didn't know what to expect, but I really only thought a handful of people would be there. They titled the talk as "Mother Earth's Soul Saving Grace"- kind of like an Aretha Franklin character in overalls-that was the picture I conjured in my mind. I gotta tell ya all...I truly don't know how people unwaveringly get up in front of a group and speak their heart...it's like being told, "Please take front stage, strip naked and sing." Uh-huh- that's easy. I think about teachers, and how they must get up and do this thing every day, well not get naked...but, speak- from their heart, trying to reach their audience, affect them. Geez- puts a whole new spin on my thinking, some people make it look so easy. Anyway-The lecture(I don't like that word, conjures up memories of Grandma shaking her finger at me for carrying around sticks in my pocket, in case I needed to shoot a bad guy. "Girls aren't suppose to do such things", always a lecture...)-was held at Oakton College in Skokie, for their Passages series. The room filled with life time learners, I tried to pick out a sympathetic soul who I might focus on...the lady in the front row, first seat. She looked like she knew a thing or two about life's ups and downs. But then, as I looked around- and I did look around, meeting eyes, speaking to each and every one's soul, and they listened with interest apparently, because the questions were wonderful afterwards-I realized we're all just people with our own versions of life stories. And the touches and the kind, uplifting things they spoke to me about- remember, these were life time learners...sharing knowledge of life goes on and on and on. One little lady and I talked of tomatoes and basil and how she was growing hers upside down this year, wanting advice for a natural repellent and what flowers to bring pollinators to the plants. Imagine bright white light, hair and face shine and eyes that twinkled something of secrets that only a long life discloses...she shined those twinklers on me alright, and wanted to know how old I was, asking in the most kindliest way. And then she said, "Want to know how old I am?" Of course I did, but this dear was ageless I do declare..."Ninety nine", she said, more twinkle in the telling. Imagine, hauling yourself up and off to school with a grumble sometimes at any age, but at 99? And trying something new, like turning your tomatoes upside down, just to see how they might grow...wow. The nervous day turned itself right side up into d-e-l-i-g-h-t. I did not get her name but I loved her in that moment all the same. Hopefully some from the class might respond to this post and let me know her name and tell her what I said, tell all of them thank you for me, for allowing me to share and bring back home something of a rare treasure, wise folks engaging me. The best part though, was when Lils commented, "Mom, you spoke well, even though I've lived it, you said it in just a way that I saw things differently. I was immersed." Imagine! A puffed up peacock had nothing on me at that moment! So there you have it, loads of words to express that I took far more away from the experience than I gave...thank you Oakton, you students of life- for the joyful day. Take care-

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Terry,

Having been a teacher for 16 years, it was hard every day standing in front of an audience. And now my friend, you know how rewarding it was as well. The looks, the questions, the connection. An incredible feeling. From Dan, your friend during Friday lunches

Anonymous said...

I told you it'd be OK, oh ye of little faith!

Fran

Anonymous said...

The key is, you were talking about your boy and your passion. That makes all the difference in the world. Just think, now Chicago knows even more about Beau and your family. Keep it up!

Vivian L

Art-of-Facts said...

True ~ so sorry I missed you - I would have made the trip into the city for this one if I could have. I am not surprised that you did so well - I agree with the teachers . . . words WITHOUT one's spirit are mere words . . . you give of yourself in written form and I imagine everyday in person - one cannot mess that up. I hope to hear more of this ~ and remember, when you enter a stage WITHOUT fear - you have left something of yourself behind (fear is a good thing in this case).

Lorrie said...

Well, I tell you this with heartfelt honesty: I would have LOVED to have been in that room! I'm happy for you, proud of you for conquering a mini-fear and spreading your vibrance and joy with a few more lucky folks. Congrats!

Jan said...

i'm so glad i just checked you out today; it's wonderful that your talk went so well for you, and for your audience...we are ALL just 'people', with our own individual 'flower petals' of pain, (as Robert Creeley's poem, The Flower, expresses!). You sound like a wonderful person who I would have loved to listen to/interacti with in that audience!