perennial as the grass

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann

So much for my retreat...you all are so kind with your concern, right neighborly I'd say.  I haven't come up with the sign, but...the one thing that has changed, the lesson here if one were to look deeply enough:

My neighbors that I don't really know, who I did not think cared much for me have been nothing but kind, all their eyes and shoulders, hands and feet- walking, talking and looking for that sign.  They have touched me in a well worn space with their kindness.

Signs can be replaced, people can't.

  For this, for the outpouring of love and concern, I am thankful.

I did take a hike on the 26th...trying to match the level of my intense emotions with the landscape...and may I say, the place of awe above did bring me joy- I wept as I came upon what found me speechless, stronger and intact.

Take care-

"Therefore be at peace...

a few more degrees

Ahhhh, thank goodness, August will come.  Kind of felt like I was on some rocky ride there through a dynamite hole with boulders and slivers of stone slicing through the air and all around, some straight through.

I declare, July is Hell on me...no matter what or where I am, it takes hold and I have yet to shake it.  So, I guess if life is to be harsher than normal, well....that'd be the month for it.  Kettle is already boiling, what's a few more degrees?!

Well, I gotta tell you...that's a load of crap, a few more degrees.  I go into the ugly cave that July has come to represent with my head held high, my light up above like a lantern and I take a few more steps in there than I did the year before.  I guess I am a glutton for punishment, but please, please know- I am not one who can take all the kicks the world has to offer.  When I am down, Hell, whenever anyone is down...why is it the cowards and buzzards seem to gather around you and get their toes into your belly too?!

  I do not like to fight, wisdom is the best weapon...I'd like to think I'm too high minded now to ever lift a finger against another fellow, even in self defense (though a shotgun says "that's enough" to trespassers best).  Physical confrontations are a bit old school and well, there's always a better way, right?!  Except I'm wondering...
How it might feel to land a punch in to the nose of the cold hearted bastards who stole my farm sign.  On a significantly horrendous day...they could not know that, still-it didn't mean a damn thing to them anyway, they just saw it all for the taking, no honor or courage about them...they slipped in under the dark sky and stole a piece of my heart.  I am not made of stone, am not the cream of the crop, I cry too, I weep at things that no one else notices, I believe in sharing tears instead of words sometimes because it's honestly the only thing we do all understand, regardless of our cultural differences.  Tears say it all... the nothing equivalent that utter-less sorrow conveys.

And I'm crying mad.   That's what I'm trying to convey here, crying mad.  Because they know not what they do...and the local paper I wrote a kind enough letter to-in-hopes-someone-might-know-of-the-whereabouts-of-said-rather-LARGE -bright-fluorescent-green-and-white-Beauregards Farm-sign, neglected to list my phone number and the police that were called who-made-me-sift-through-all-my-pictures-for-the -best-pic-of-said-sign- never came by to get it and the-sign-posted-on-the-community-board-offering-a-reward-for-said-sign- was taken down the day after it was posted so no one might now never know that I'm looking for it, weeping for it and ....

What's the point?!  Soon enough, as always with me- a true bleeding heart.  I will say-

If. You. Can. Live. With. Taking. It....

I guess, I think, in time...

I can live with losing it.

Now some of you good people explain to me please, why oh why- my chin still protrudes, my teeth stay intact, I don't go on a sign redeeming rampage and kick somebody's ass, why I don't just put another sign down at the end of my lane that says Shame on you...

Don't answer.  I know why.  Because good people are so few and far between now, they're almost invisible.  And in spite of that knowledge, that irreversible reality... DAMMIT!!!!!.  It doesn't change the fact that the few and far between are still out there, and here.  And if I give up just a teensy little bit of ground in hope, in goodness, in wonder...then the bastards do win.

I fight every day, with myself.  I say, "Get up." "Shut Up." "Get going".  "Be kind."  "Forgive."  "Forget."  "Believe."  "Have faith." "Lend faith."  "Reflect."  "Navigate."  "Respect."  "Honor."  "Be still."  "Remember...."

And I still believe...but if I could-  I would take the whole of July and give it away to all of you who can appreciate the beauty of it.  Then, through your words and pictures, I might see it too.  I was able to take July in that sign, a kind friend that I truly did not know so well, but their character spoke through the generous act of making me that glorious sign- said, as he handed it to me- "Life goes on."   And I believed him, he covered July with that sign.  And they took it.

Don't let the bastards get you down.

Great quote, hard to live sometimes.  That's the truth.

Five Days

Good morning all.  I'm not up to much writing these days, so I've included some back-links to some earlier written stuff that in particular, seem important.  Chainsaw was the first ever written...as they say here Downeast, it's a pissah! Grain is not to be read by the insincere among us.  From Towards and To is a hayseed's explanation.  And so on and on...

From, Towards and To

grain

Chainsaw Reaction

The Blind Man's Bliss

Semper Fi and a Heavenly Marine

(I prefer no comments during this retreat.  To you and yours, beautiful days!  May you be thankful, be grateful, and always, always remember the gifts.)Take care-

No doubt

"....No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should..."

from Max Ehrrman~Desirderata

Forever True

A whole lot can come from nothing,

I was living proof.

You're doing good if you got yourself

Four walls and a roof.

If you give up the time, your soul will play the song...

Do what you feel is right

And don't do nobody wrong.

Don't pay no mind to critics-

They'll say what they'll say,

You need to care more about your work

Than you do about your pay.

Be careful where you tread-

'Cause you'll always leave some tracks,

But if you take some wrong roads

Ain't no sense in looking back.

Watch the name you live up to

You might have to live it down-

'Cause once you start to fly,

It's hard to see the ground.

Don't let anyone tell you

Who you are or what you'll be,

Be your own man

And live your life accordingly.

Don't burn all your bridges
you might have to cross them again.
Make sure you know the people
and the crowd you're hanging in.

Anything worth doing-

Is worth doing right,

Including causing trouble

And picking out your fights-

There are only two things for sure-

One is life and one is death...

Make your dreams come true,

And You decide the rest.

(BGR 2003)

( Beau  7-14-82~7-26-03 "over there" .  Semper Fidelis...)

On This Heavenly Day...

"Oh heavenly day!

All the clouds blew away...

Got no trouble today,

With anyone.

The smile on your face-

I've been longing to see ...

It's enough for me baby, it's enough for me-

Oh heavenly day, heavenly day- heavenly day!

Got no one on my shoulder, bringing me fears, and no clouds undercover- bringing me tears....

Got nothin' to tell you, I got nothin' much to say,

Only I'm glad to be here with you

On this heavenly, heavenly,heavenly, heavenly DAY!!!!!"

(lyrics from "Heavenly Day"  Patty Griffin)

It tasted sweeter somehow....

I don't yet know many folks in these parts.  My take on what those around me perceive- I'm a very open friendly sort, so on first impression- I think people wonder what my agenda is...

I have never been the sort of personality that hides behind a fake smile- I never was much of a poker player either- the glee or gall of my hand would be written all over my face.  My brothers and Dad took full advantage of my meager coinage.

  Is it so hard to believe in a fellow traveler...that we don't all have some kind of hidden agenda, just at the ready to pounce on a kind soul?  I think people do mistake kindness at times for weakness...although it's not the worst thing in the world to be underestimated.

 Sometimes, when I get my back up- I speak quick and hard to certain reptilian personalities.  Not to reprimand them, but to make them think, OK...maybe sometimes I do correct, but with good intentions.  Like yesterday for instance, after trying to make my exit from a local gas station.  I held the door for a kindly old man;  My- the smile he gave me...it was like an embrace from a ray of sunshine!  Standing there in that glow, another able bodied couple walked in- no problem, I was still basking.  Then a younger fellow grabbed the door, bustled in through the couple, knocking into the old man.  And then spoke none too kindly to the group at hand. I am a  mother.  Children grown, but that kind of behavior might make me grab an ear or two and haul their little rumps front and center and call them on it.

Anyway- I put a headlock of words on the young asshole, 'scuse my French.  Not many syllables were needed, just this-

"Shame on you."

I won't credit him one bit with what his lack of brain power mumbled.

I stood hard and fast, echoing my original statement.

"Shame on you."

By Jesus I must have put the fear of God in him...or maybe it was the trucker dude behind me, backing me up. (Ain't it great when people do get involved, not by force but merely stance?!)

I do believe the misguided kid was actually shamed, maybe sorry even...not by what I said but by the fact that all eyes were upon him, no cursing was directed at him...just folks holding him accountable for HIS actions.

Anyway, small victories on the part of good manners is worth a chunk of chocolate.  Which I bought.  And ate.  It tasted sweeter somehow...


Take care-

The Truth About Squirrels

My name is Munk...

  I am a Nectarholic.  

The saga began when a self righteous old bitty,

 Ms. Nuthatch- came to call at our little homey cabin in the woods.

"Mrs. Squirrel, now I am not one to tell tales, but let me warn you!  Your husband has been hitting the hooch pretty hard!!"

"Oh No!!!!  

 I must speak to my mother!!!"

And she began to cry.

"HE DID WHAT??!!! 

 I warned you about him, I told you he'd never be more than a nut chucking ninny, didn't I?!!!!"

Oh I begged her to believe me when I said that I only had a snort here, a snort there...but she would not listen.  My lowest lows came to be. I began to hit the hard stuff more and more every day-

Even the hummingbirds no longer buzzed me, they just looked away.

"Hmmph!!!

But I didn't care, my mother-in-law had moved in...I had fallen from the grace of the Great Tree.

But then one day, it was like a light went off in my noggin'...I realized what I had to do!!!!

I explained to the little woman that if the wise dog knew what I was up to, maybe she could save me by keeping me away from the nectar bar!!   
"OOOHH that is a good idea, Mother is driving me off my nut!"

And so it came to be that dogs chased squirrels and sometimes vice versa...because if the truth be told, we all need a little nip now and then.  

THE END

A Fractured Fable by T.L. Starks...2010

America! America!

God Shed His Grace On Thee