Thursday, February 7, 2008
Surrender, swim and smile
As I wrote to a friend this morning, and began the thought process of what might flow here this early morning..., (a friend who just came back from a glorious trip and found?) I'm waiting to sit down at her table and absorb- soon. But first- I have so much to do...with money. I have a contractor building a room in my shed to fill the needs of a simple soul who needs a home, she has found one. And I have found in her a pioneer spirit, willing to help out on the farm-win win, good use of moola. Insurance company- car totaled 4 weeks ago today, fella ran a stop sign, daughter in the wrong place at the wrong time- guess who's paying out the wahzoo for that one? Poor use of time and energy and the almighty buckaroos. And finally- the lawyers. Leeches. If I ever need an attorney again, I shall check for a pulse (a lesson?) I did not do that, I trusted in their representation-but I assure you, it was not me or my interests they represented. (A LESSON!) Yep, next time I will definately check for that pulse, maybe even bring a nurse along- no pulse- no heart. So- as of yesterday, my birthday- I let some things go, and some things- I let come. Surrender, swim and smile. That about sums up that mess. Oh, and yes- I did fly a bit too.
Emma, Mathew, and Lily took me out to dinner, an italian restaurant there in Springfield(Palermos-wonderful). Even the fine glass of wine I had could not fade out the knowledge that my children and I are years apart in entertainment. Oh, we had fun and with great joy I spent the dinner hour with them, but that hour continued on into another-and much like as they were when children in church- the little monkeys appeared. Aren't teenagers wonderful? Oh they tried their best to be respectable, really they did. But over an hour of goodness and manners wore on their little monkey souls- they could not contain the apes inside and out they came. And the zoo keeper in me came out too- they had already been fed, how else could I keep these monkeys of mine appeased? Eat quicker, get out the door into the car and aaaarrrrgggghhhh! The magic of my special day had worn off-they no longer cared if I liked the music on the radio-their democracy of 3 against 1 took control. I'm a year older, I tire easier, I was stuffed and could not bear to part with much more energy...so I listened. I'm smiling now, but I assure you-the long ride home was a reallllllly long ride home...
All in all, a most wonderful day- took myself out to lunch, read the book "The Razor's Edge" drank a margarita, tipped my sweet waitress big, she was a jewel. Went to JC Penneys, shopped for lingerie! Never in my life have I parted with money so foolishly, felt nervous and silly, thought the world was just over my shoulder- looking at the panties in my hand! But...it felt good too, who knew a farm chick like me could feel so girl like, so feminine, so sexy....yep, I did. (But I left the tags on everything, just in case- )still, I'll try them out- those girly things, who knows? Maybe I am more woman than even I ever knew (or cared to admit?!)!
Out in the fields with my bibs on, my hair up, my leather work gloves on, shoveling manure and wearing intimate apparel? Oh, too funny- I'd giggle at myself all day, don't see nothin' wrong with that! Hey- do they make sexy long underwear? Thermal thongs? Just wonderin'-
Take care dears-