Thursday, February 7, 2008

Surrender, swim and smile

As I wrote to a friend this morning, and began the thought process of what might flow here this early morning..., (a friend who just came back from a glorious trip and found?) I'm waiting to sit down at her table and absorb- soon. But first- I have so much to do...with money. I have a contractor building a room in my shed to fill the needs of a simple soul who needs a home, she has found one. And I have found in her a pioneer spirit, willing to help out on the farm-win win, good use of moola. Insurance company- car totaled 4 weeks ago today, fella ran a stop sign, daughter in the wrong place at the wrong time- guess who's paying out the wahzoo for that one? Poor use of time and energy and the almighty buckaroos. And finally- the lawyers. Leeches. If I ever need an attorney again, I shall check for a pulse (a lesson?) I did not do that, I trusted in their representation-but I assure you, it was not me or my interests they represented. (A LESSON!) Yep, next time I will definately check for that pulse, maybe even bring a nurse along- no pulse- no heart. So- as of yesterday, my birthday- I let some things go, and some things- I let come. Surrender, swim and smile. That about sums up that mess. Oh, and yes- I did fly a bit too.
Emma, Mathew, and Lily took me out to dinner, an italian restaurant there in Springfield(Palermos-wonderful). Even the fine glass of wine I had could not fade out the knowledge that my children and I are years apart in entertainment. Oh, we had fun and with great joy I spent the dinner hour with them, but that hour continued on into another-and much like as they were when children in church- the little monkeys appeared. Aren't teenagers wonderful? Oh they tried their best to be respectable, really they did. But over an hour of goodness and manners wore on their little monkey souls- they could not contain the apes inside and out they came. And the zoo keeper in me came out too- they had already been fed, how else could I keep these monkeys of mine appeased? Eat quicker, get out the door into the car and aaaarrrrgggghhhh! The magic of my special day had worn off-they no longer cared if I liked the music on the radio-their democracy of 3 against 1 took control. I'm a year older, I tire easier, I was stuffed and could not bear to part with much more I listened. I'm smiling now, but I assure you-the long ride home was a reallllllly long ride home...
All in all, a most wonderful day- took myself out to lunch, read the book "The Razor's Edge" drank a margarita, tipped my sweet waitress big, she was a jewel. Went to JC Penneys, shopped for lingerie! Never in my life have I parted with money so foolishly, felt nervous and silly, thought the world was just over my shoulder- looking at the panties in my hand! felt good too, who knew a farm chick like me could feel so girl like, so feminine, so sexy....yep, I did. (But I left the tags on everything, just in case- )still, I'll try them out- those girly things, who knows? Maybe I am more woman than even I ever knew (or cared to admit?!)!
Out in the fields with my bibs on, my hair up, my leather work gloves on, shoveling manure and wearing intimate apparel? Oh, too funny- I'd giggle at myself all day, don't see nothin' wrong with that! Hey- do they make sexy long underwear? Thermal thongs? Just wonderin'-
Take care dears-


bam said...

first, beautiful, happy blessed day of you-ness, now we know......second, you crack me up you with your thermal thong. i know exactly what you mean. i might not be in overalls all the time, i'm more in drawstring black things that might be mistaken for pajamas but i do not go struttin around feeeling like a lingerie girl. as the only girl in a family of five, with a mama who preferred the woods to any shopping mall--oh the disdain she held for mamas who shopped.....EEK--i hardly felt legit when it came to lingerie. i once walked a few miles in freezing cold so i could buy a palette of eye shadows at the turn-style and sneak them in the house. oh, but i digress. your day sounds lovely. and it warms me here in snowy land to know you spent it, at least a good chunk of it, just the way you wanted. here's a virtual cupcake spilling with coconut and sugared violets (i saw it in a magazine, sounds lovely, eh?). and a big hug too. xoxoxo

Jan Doble said...

well happy (belated) birthday to you! turns out teenagers aren't really that different than 3 year olds...but, if they weren't around, we'd miss 'em. good-on-ya for gettin' some sexy 'should' feel feminine. Lord knows, I don't run around in anything sexy either...last time I bought underwear it was plain white by jockey; or fruit of the loom or something 'plain'. it really paints an interesting picture when you describe running around in the field with your overalls and workboots on and sexy lingerie...but hey, why not? another year you've survived, so celebration is in order. By the way, I have a silly question: i noticed you put me on your buddy list (you're on mine too)...but it reads "doable doble...yes!" Since you're not a guy, I won't take it at face value (!!)...but was just wondering what you were thinking when you named it. Maybe nothing, I don't know...but it caught my eye. Anyway, you take care!

truewonder said...

miss capable,

That is the word I should have used describing you...and I will change it right now. Sorry-didn't think about other connections, doable...lights were on, nobody home!
I think it's awesome what you bring to light here, a little bit of you and your awareness. Yep, capable Doble sounds right?! Blessings, take care-

Jan Doble said...

Thanks Terry--Capable is great. Now I just need to put my 'capabilities' to work. I am a procrastinator and have all kinds of ideas I want to write about but so far not much has been produced. Sinceyou've validated my capability, I'll work hard on proving you right! Thanks...Jan

art-of-facts said...

Oh, blasted, True . . . just when I think I have you all figured out, you go get more brilliant - it's why one can't look at God, you know - His brilliance is so that one will never quite figure Him out all the way - but will be drawn to try all the while . . . cut the tags off and don't just leave 'em in the drawer for some special time. They need to be OUT of the drawer if you're going to make those times!